Flick's Tab

Standard Drinks

I'm old.

I'm not ugly, but I blend into a crowd.

Yesterdays were not complete without a drink and a romp in the sack. Today...the drink is much easier.

My name is Flick and I'm going to try to make you a better drinker.

My contribution to this blog will never be formal or full of facts. My learning took place on bar stools and around pool tables. Understanding how whiskey has been developed through the ages sounds like a wonderful way to waste a day, but you won't earn that knowledge here. What you'll get here is the same words you'd get if we were bar stool buddies without women to distract us.

You'll get a decent conversation about one of life's greatest commodities. Drinks.

I use the work drinks and by this I mean cocktails. Beer might pop up here and there, but I don't plan to ever focus on beer because it's not a drink. Beer is a refreshment. James Bond never shotgunned a Martini. Humphrey Bogart never threw a ping pong into a plastic cup full of Scotch. The great F. Scott Fitzgerald never chugged his Gin Rickey through a funnel and tube. Beer is for fun, sporting events and mornings at the airport. It's not drinking.

Are you a wine lover? That's great. Plenty of other blogs and interesting articles out there. I suggest you find one.

Now I'm sure plenty of you who like wine or wonder, "What else can I order for the woman sitting across the table?"

First, never sit across a table from someone when there's alcohol involved. Especially if you're attracted to them. Similar to vending machine candy which needs to be dropped first, drinks only reach their full potential when there's physical contact. If you must sit at a table, choose the same side. At the bar is even better, where it is almost impossible not to rub elbows. There is camaraderie in drinking. Drinks are the fire that burns the evening bright. Sit close.

Second, it is extremely important to have a standard drink. This is your "go to" best friend. The one that is always up for adventure and never hides behind a lame excuse. This drink is never married with a sick kid. This drink has the cool boss that doesn't mind if you show up for the big presentation with a hangover.

If your "go to" is a light beer, then enjoy your night watching sport highlights on the television and checking your phone for fantasy football updates. I'll be the one fighting the coming dawn with liquid tales of my fascinating life. Wouldn't you rather be able to relate to Dos Equis' "The Most Interesting Man in the World" than just enjoy the commercials?

Unfortunately for our civilization, beers have become a common standard because they're inexpensive. What if our country built Atlantic City, but decided that was good enough and Las Vegas was only worth dreaming about? Never sell low.

My standard drink is an Old Fashioned in a lowball glass. It's an honest and refreshing drink. Also important, it is very hard for a bartender to screw up. Even with my old man memory I can recite the recipe for even the most inept bartender. So for those of you visiting your local Chile's or Applebee's for your bartending excitement, there's no reason they can't mix an Old Fashioned for you.

Please head these words of caution. Shows like Mad Men have brought back some popularity of drinks like this one, however bartenders are trying to bedazzle their costumers by adding fruit to the recipe. Don't be afraid to tell them this is unnecessary and belittling to the drink itself. Tip less at these establishments. 

Your standard drink can be anything you like. I prefer a simple recipe because it makes it accessible to you wherever you may find yourself. Rum and Coke. Whiskey and Coke. Gin and Tonic. A Manhattan. These are great choices because they're bartending 101 and no bar can't make these. If your standard drink can only be properly made in one backstreet bar on the streets of L.A. because of it's complexity, I ask you how does that help you when you're snowed in at the airport in Fargo, ND? It doesn't. I would also avoid a standard drink that requires a cute paper umbrella or one that comes in a glass bigger than your head. Your standard drink shouldn't make you an attraction. If people are pointing at you, your night is going to avoid you.

The Mojito is becoming more commonplace in restaurants and bars, but I would never use this as a standard drink. This is my vacation drink for good reason. It's fucking delicious. So good, that drinking it more than a few times a year would drain its magic. You should always look forward to your vacation drink.

I also have a standard drink for any woman who should accompany me. I will order it for them immediately without asking permission. If I'm meeting someone, their drink will be waiting to greet them. 

Say hello to the Vera Rush.

Introduce it to your woman immediately. If you don't have a woman, order it for the next one that catches your eye. Even if she's with another man. If you fancy her, then order her this drink. Your confidence in ordering real drinks will only grow when you watch her ask the bartender the name of the drink she couldn't help but finish. You'll cherish the moment forever when the bartender points the woman in your direction much to the chagrin of her boyfriend. He will hate you for the rest of his life and it'll feel good.

The Vera Rush is sweet on the outside with a fire burning within, just like any woman worth giving a damn about.

If your lady already has a standard drink, make sure you know what it is and order it for her. When her drink arrives, make sure there's a napkin underneath it. Manners  count.

Until next time. Drink up.

Old Fashioned Gin Cocktail

1 sugar cube

2 dashes Angostura bitters

1 teaspoon water

2 ounces gin

Place the sugar in an Old-Fashioned glass. Add 2 dashes of Angostura bitters and a teaspoon of water and muddle the sugar until it dissolves. Add 2 ounces dry gin, stir well, and add 2 large ice cubes. Let sit for a couple of minutes and have at it.

Read more: http://www.esquire.com/drinks/gin-cocktail-drink-recipe#ixzz1ofI7cgre

Vera Rush

2oz dark rum

1/2 oz pineapple juice

Pour the rum in an Old-Fashioned glass, with a lump of ice, then float the pineapple juice on top.

Read more: http://www.esquire.com/drinks/vera-rush-drink-recipe#ixzz1ofHg9WwU