Damn Can!

 During a late night run to the supermarket, a four pack of beer caught my eye and dazzled me into buying it. It looked tropical. There's a shark fin on it and better yet, it's called Landshark Lager. Hell yeah! And look at all those palm trees. Where has this beer can been all my life?

As I drove home, there was only one question on my mind. Would the taste live up to the appearance.

I've been burned before. Red Dog. Blue Moon. And the dreaded Zima. God that was a dark day.

When I got home, I quickly snapped the top and chugged. Decent flavor and very little after taste. Success! The beer didn't suck and there was no aftertaste to remind me what brewed shit tasted like.

I was happy. Happy enough to report that I drank more than one.

Happy enough that I related the tale to some friends the next night. That's when my world fell apart.

"Landshark, that's Jimmy Buffett's beer."

What? Can't be possible. It came close to ruining my entire night. I had been betrayed.

When I got home, I immediately searched for an empty can and there was the proof right on the can. Margaritaville written in blood red. How did I not notice that before? Was the shark fin that distracting?

I even turned to the Internet and looked on Wikipedia for anything that would tell me it was okay to like this beer. "Land Shark Lager, brewed in Jacksonville, Florida, is a 4.7% abv pale lager launched in 2006 as the house lager for "Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville" restaurant chain." Vindication and damnation in one sentence. The alcohol level was higher than most Budweiser products, but the Jimmy Buffet connection had been proved.

Part of me feels dead inside. I'll never buy it again, but I'll notice it every time it's there. Whether it's at the supermarket, on a menu or sitting in some other poor sucker's fridge...I'll know what it is.

How could a shark not be cool?

Now I know what happened to this guy and why he hates those cans.